BALTIMORE, MD – A disgruntled employee set his office on fire when he learned his company was switching to instant coffee for its employees to save money.
“He came in the door in his usual miserable mood,” states an employee who survived the fire unharmed. “After reaching for his Garfield mug he noticed the coffee maker had been replaced with a no-name brand of instant coffee. He threw the mug through a window then stormed into his office. After a few minutes he calmly walked out with a smile through his handlebar moustache while a burning smell began to fill the air.”
“Everyone got out perfectly fine,” states the fire chief. “It was a man sick of his job and sick of his life. We’ve all been there so we’re letting him go without charges. It seems like he threw a lit cigar in the recycling box, and that’s just too bad ass to pursue criminal charges.”
The man has since posted his resume on Criagslist and stated he was ‘FIREd’ from his last job with 17 ‘ha’s written after it.